


Baby Sitter.

by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)



Series: Merge Point [2]
Category: Baby Driver (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Babysitting, POV Outsider, Yuletide 2017, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 02:07:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13113696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels
Summary: Sam goes to a fancy private school, but not the kind of fancy private school where your uncle sends his chauffeur to pick you up. Uncle Roger can be pretty dense sometimes.





	Baby Sitter.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Largishcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Largishcat/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide, Largishcat!

Sam sighs when he sees Uncle Roger's car pull up without Uncle Roger in the front seat. Uncle Roger's picked him up a lot, so his friends know his car and they also know what he looks like. Sam goes to a fancy private school, but not the kind of fancy private school where your uncle sends his chauffeur to pick you up. Uncle Roger can be pretty dense sometimes. And then there's the other option for who Baby is, but Sam isn't going to tell his friends that his uncle has a gold-digging boyfriend, that's even worse than the social embarrassment of his uncle sending a driver for him instead of having Sam take uber like a normal person.

"Oh, hey, my cousin's here," Sam says to Danni and Phoebe. He'd let Baby call the shots inside the post office on the stupid assumption that a grown-up would be better about recon than a kid. This is what Sam gets for assuming the best of people and trying to be the bigger person. Baby had been useless and gotten the intel wrong, and then the job had gone off terribly. They should have seen it coming when Baby had decided to go along with a story that Sam was his son. Sam's not gonna go around saying Uncle Roger is robbing the cradle with Baby, but, well, Uncle Roger makes everyone call his boyfriend 'Baby', so at least Uncle Roger is embracing how embarrassing it all is. So there's no way Baby is old enough to be Sam's dad. It was a stupid story and they deserved that job going down the toilet from stupidity. It was just karma.

Baby's looking like he expects Sam to get into the front passenger's seat, another sign that Uncle Roger hires stupid people, and Sam gets into the back pointedly. "I'm not allowed to sit in the front until I'm like 12," he tells Baby who, true to form, just shrugs, doesn't answer, and start driving. "They can still see us, you have to talk to me. I told them you're my cousin. You should say hello."

"Hello," Baby parrots, voice pretty deadpan. Sam kinda likes Baby, for all that Baby is totally weird and way too young to be dating his uncle. Baby can be pretty funny. He's got good timing. Must be all the music he listens to, it's got him living to a beat. Sam likes how that sounds. It's poetic. He should write it down for English class. He'd get the best grade.

"I had a great day at school," Sam says. "We blew up the science lab."

Sam gives Baby a very long pause. Baby eventually takes the conversational bait. "Did they make your mom sign something first?"

"Probably at the beginning of the school year," Sam says. Mom's always signing permission slips and things like that. She probably would have told him if there was a specific one for science class. She does something with chemistry, or biochemistry, or, uh, he doesn't know. She took him and his entire class to her lab once when Sam was in first grade, that's all Sam knows about it. Uncle Roger tells Sam more about _his_ job, but Mom says that's because Uncle Roger's job is more accessible to children. Mom does important research; Uncle Roger just steals stuff. Also Mom's got, like, NDAs and stuff and isn't allowed to talk about all of it, and she doesn't break that rule. It's weird, since Uncle Roger is all about breaking rules, but it's not like he lets _Sam_ break rules. It's hypocritical.

Baby's driving them really slowly, which is boring. There's nothing interesting to look at it. "Hey, can you do the cool driving stuff?" Sam asks.

"No," Baby says.

"Why not?" Sam crosses his arms. He's never seen Baby really drive. Every time Baby's driving Uncle Roger around, it's always really boring. It's not fair. Uncle Roger told Sam that Baby was the best driver he's ever hired, and all Sam's seen is someone who stops at every yellow light.

"Because then I'll get pulled over," Baby says.

"And I'm in the car and that would be bad," Sam figures.

"And the car is in your uncle's name and I don't remember which name is on my license right now," Baby says. 

"If we're going with the story that you're my cousin, you'd think one of us would know your name," Sam sighs.

Baby looks over and gives him a half-smile. "All right. The wallet's in the glove compartment. Take it out and tell me who I am today."

Sam unfastens his seatbelt and climbs into the front passenger seat. There's a wallet and a loaded gun in the glove compartment. Sam flips the wallet open and looks through the cards. Baby actually has two licenses with his picture on it, an expired one from Mississippi and a current one from Georgia. "Timothy Nelson," he reads.

"Oh, right, that one. Doc gave that name to your school when I had to take you to the doctor," Baby says. But he still doesn't start driving fast at all. It's so not fair.

"If I guess your real name, will you speed just a little?" Sam asks.

Baby laughs. "Sure, go for it."

Sam takes out his phone and takes a picture of the licenses. He tries to do a reverse image match, nothing useful comes up. He'd been hoping for a mugshot or something. This is stupid, it's not working and it's supposed to be magic. CSI and NCIS have been lying to him. "Give me a clue, can I find you on the internet?"

"Probably not," Baby says. "The police might have my prints from scenes, but I've never been fingerprinted, never got a license or a passport in my name. The last things with my name on it were from high school graduation, but I missed all the picture days, so I'm not in the yearbook, and I didn't manage to make it to the ceremony. Doc had a job."

"You were working for him in high school?" Sam asks, awed. Uncle Roger lets Sam do small things sometimes, but it's only when Mom has to go to work and Uncle Roger has to watch him but also needs to get some work done himself. As Mom says, Uncle Roger works weird hours, but he's also a criminal who makes his own hours, so he can just go ahead and deal with childcare. Uncle Roger always has him do pretty boring stuff, nothing like TV at all. When Sam was younger, like, seven, he'd thought it was because crime was just plain boring, so that's why Uncle Roger drives nice cars, to distract him from how boring his life is, but now that he's almost ten, he knows that it's because Uncle Roger was basically lying to him and controlling his access to information, which is worse. There's exciting parts of Uncle Roger's job, but it's just that Uncle Roger never shows them to him, which isn't fair. It's doubly not fair if Baby got to just jump in to the fun stuff.

"Yeah, I started driving for him part-time when I was twelve," Baby says, like it's nothing, and Sam just stares at him. And, uh, wow. That's a whole, wow. That's a side of Uncle Roger he'd never seen. Uncle Roger hired a seventh-grader as a driver? Why? Was Baby just that good? Did Baby need the money? How did that even happen?

"Didn't you have _school_?" Sam blurts out.

"It was an after-school job," Baby says and, okay, that's a joke, except that's a terrible joke. "He had a regular driver for most jobs. He just needed me as back-up sometimes."

"That's really weird," Sam says. The terrible part is that he doesn't think Baby understands that it's really weird. Sam does know that it's weird that Uncle Roger takes _him_ to potential future crime scenes, and Baby's talking about, like, three thousand steps beyond that.

Baby shrugs. "It was the deal." And then he swerves really dramatically and comes to a perfect stop right in front of Sam's house, perfectly parallel parked, with no effort shown at all. Wow. Sam hadn't even seen it coming, not at all. He hadn't realized he'd grabbed the door handle until he has to peel his fingers off of it.

"Okay, that was cool," Sam says. "Guess you're really a driver after all."

Baby looks pretty insulted that Sam doubted him, but Sam's already getting out of the car. He's got to finish his homework before Mom gets home so she lets Baby babysit him again. Maybe next time, he can get Baby to go faster.

**Author's Note:**

> [Yuletide Reveal Post](https://lannamichaels.dreamwidth.org/993851.html)


End file.
